Actual Date: Saturday, November 22, 2003
Actual Time: 4:27am
5 hours, 3 Doc Otis’, and 28 games of Bullshit later…
I had a great time. I need friends that I can just sit back and relax with every once in a while. I love going out and doing things, but I’m a very high-strung kind of person, and I need to really break myself out of that, it’s not a big “turn-on” for too many people. I really need to find people I can just sit back, shoot the bull, have a drink, and hang out with.
Where are you?
11:56am
I had a wonderful dream last night. I usually have really weird dreams that I remember or seemingly abstract or something absurd that is a reflection on what’s going on in my mind at the time… and this could be one of those dreams. But it was very straight forward. I had sex with this girl. It was very passionate… I don’t remember if I knew her or not (in real life), or if she was just some amalgamation of my subconscious. It was one of the best dreams I can remember having, and as I was in that fog moving from sleep to awake, I remember having this feeling of closeness with someone. Then as I came out of the fog I looked next to me… guess who was there!?
No one.
Not saying that I want to have sex right now or anything… just that I’d like to be with someone who cares as much about me as I do her. I know I have friends, and one really great one in particular, but I can’t get what I feel I need from them. Friendship goes a long way, and I believe that all relationships should try to build that first before making it anything else, but I guess I just want more of an intimacy with someone than I feel I can get from a friend… or am getting from friends. I don’t even mean in a physical sense, I don’t know, it’s a very abstract thing I’m trying to describe, but I can tell that it’s there and there’s a desire for something MORE.
Well, until then…
Sex dreams are the next best thing to actually doing it.