I did something last night that I swore I would never do. I left a friend high and dry for a girl. While I now understand the other end of the spectrum and how it's easy to do something like that, I've made myself into a hypocrit. I am an ass, and I feel really bad about it. I wish I could go back and correct it.

I Did It

"you'd think this life would make me bolder
but I'm running scared is all..."
"well you got to think with a girl like that
any love at all, is better than nothing... is better than nothing"
- Matchbox Twenty - girl like that


"If it were up to me, she would know that
she'll be the one, when I'm dead, will use my bed
and she'll spend her life, thinking of us and making a fuss."
- Rooney - If It Were Up to Me


Yes, you read correctly, I DID IT! I asked her out. She came to Richmond this morning on business and we went out to breakfast, and then I rode along with her to one of her clients. When she dropped me off, I asked her. I'm pretty sure that it can't be misconstrued as anything other than what I meant it to be.

[Important excerpt from conversation]
Me: Y'know, I always have a great time with you.
Her: I have a lot of fun with you, too.
Me: I may be going out on a limb here, but I'd like to take you out sometime. [plain, simple, to the point, right?]
Her: That sounds great. Yeah, we'll go out sometime. [big smile]
[end of important dialogue... not direct quotes, general gist of conversation]

So there you have it. My heart is pounding, my pulse is racing, and I feel as if I'm out of breath. But I love it. If nothing else, this is a mountain I've climbed and conquered. Hopefully it'll be easier if I ever have to do it again.

Is this the end... or is it merely the beginning? I can't wait to find out!

Fight the "machine"

Telemarketers Start Transmitting Caller ID Information

Starting today, if you have Caller ID, you'll know when a telemarketer calls you. Telemarketers must transmit Caller ID information in order to comply with the Federal Trade Commission's Telemarketing Sales Rule (TSR). Prior to the new requirements, most calls showed up on your Caller ID as "out of area." Now the name of the company or firm calling must be displayed along with their phone number.

Full Story

Moment of truth... the final countdown

Alright, to all of those who have been reading my blog for the past month or so... it all comes down to tomorrow. My big goofy grin days will either be numerous and plentiful or be snuffed out like a candle in a huricane. I'm going to have lunch with her tomorrow. I've been given a lot of good advice that I can and can't use. I've been encouraged by so many people, and it really makes me smile to think that people are rooting for me and cheering me on in a respect. I'll actually get one last psyche up tomorrow if I need it... and I probably will.

In approximately 11 or 12 hours, I (along with everyone else) will finally find out if this waste of energy has been worth it or not.

I have a good feeling about tomorrow. No matter which way it goes. I'm actually looking forward to it. That hasn't happened before. Usually I've dreaded it, or been really nervous about it. I feel anxious, but not nervous.

Do you think I stand a chance? Feel free to give any kind of feedback on any part of this post.

Lord protect my heart.

Statistical Analysis

Do the numbers...

In the past two months (November 29 - January 29) the following number of blogs have taken place:

Posts about any girl - 7
Posts about a girl I like - 25
Posts about friends - 15
Posts about an event - 6
Posts about a TV show/movie - 9
Posts about school/classes - 5
Posts about a job - 7
Posts about worries - 12
Posts with quotes - 4
Other posts - 13

Some posts counted as two things... and the news articles I didn't bother counting.

A very interesting couple of months. Thanks for everyone for all your advice, support, laughter, and patience. Especially for your friendship!

Card Night

Another fun-filled card night... not as much alcohol this time for me. I took some pictures this time, though. Wish you were here.


Loyal Participants in Card Night - Group Shot
From Left to Right. In front: Rose and Josh Paugh; 2nd row: Scott, Angela;
back: Brian (roommate), Brandi, Katie, Dustin (roommate)
Not shown: Jason and Kathryn Bowles


NERTS! anyone?


Setting up for another hand.

Sally Forth

A friend of mine happened upon this comic and gave it to me. Intriguing.

The talk of the town?

... Apparently.

Just when you feel like life is out to get you and all the odds are against you... life stops by and seems to apologize and give you a pat on the back.

Problems sleeping?

Do what I do...

Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning. Why?

Why not?

Quote of Note

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view.
- Wilma Askinas

Quote of Note

In order to discover new lands, one must be willing to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

Icey bliss

Well, due to an ice storm that passed through central Kentucky this morning, the show for today has been cancelled. The only thing I had planned to do today, and I can't do it. I'm only mildly dissappointed, more-so that I won't be heading into Lexington today than anything. Maybe the weather will lighten up a bit and I can get out for a little while this afternoon/evening. I don't mind staying at home, but I don't like to HAVE to stay at home. I like the freedom. But for now, I'll enjoy my time, and maybe continue rearranging my room a bit.

For anyone that's out and about, I hope they are able to make it to their destinations safely. I wouldn't want to lose anyone that's special to me.

20/20 Hind-sight

I did it. Not really though. I mustered the courage, my left nut dropped, and I called... and I got the voicemail. Never was I so dissappointed in my life. As an after thought, I should've gone ahead and asked via voice message, but nope... I didn't. On the bright side, it should only get easier.... right?

Moment of truth...

I think my left nut has formed, or I'm just tired of putting myself (and I'm sure all my friends to a degree) through hell. When I talk to her tomorrow, I'm going to lay it all out... see where I can go from here. Either way it turns out, I will do it. I'm not ashamed to say that I'm very nervous and may have a difficult time sleeping tonight. I know this kind of thing is old hat to many people (probably most people), but it's not to me.

I can't wait for tomorrow... and I'm dreading it.

Update

Lord what have I done...

There's no fallout from the phone call last night. Either it was all really muddled or she's ignoring it. Either way, it makes me feel a little better.

Lord what have I done...

Let me explain my last entry. My roommate's girlfriend (Katie) says the ability to ask someone of the opposite sex out lies totally in the left testicle. So for a couple days we've been joking (only partially, though) that I need to grow a left nut.

Fast forward to tonight.

My roommates and I generally have some random friends over on Wednesday nights for what we call "Card Night". In case you're way too simple-minded, card night is where we get together and (wait for it...) play cards and just get together and have a good time. Well, one of my roommates decides to do some drinking tonight, and since I haven't done so in a while, I figured what the heck.

Fast forward.

So around 10:00 (10:11pm to be exact) I decide to do my first ever drunk dial (not really drunk, but feeling good [two shots of Montezuma Tequila, and a Doc Otis later]). The person I decide to call was a certain someone that I'm interested in (No, it's not Patrick's mom)... Besides she had asked me to call her later if I got the chance, and as soon as her voice-mail picked up, I realized what time it was [note: she goes to bed fairly early, and turns her phone off when she goes to bed]. I was leaving a message and held the phone up to have everyone say, "HI [insert name here]" and my friend Rose said, "go out with Scott!". I ended the phone message and we all had a pretty big laugh, I was pretty impressed that she did it, and wasn't upset at all that she did. Thus, that is how Rose became my left nut.

Fast forward.

Talking with Rose a little bit later, she gave me a couple of tips about if or when she brings it up or asks about it. So that was good... but she basically said, "don't read into anything too much, and still you need to just ask her out"

Fast forward.

Now that everyone has gone and I've had a bit of quiet time to myself... I'm a little nervous. This big giant boulder that's just been sitting here and getting bigger has been getting increasingly more difficult to get moving... but I think that Rose put some TNT under it, and now it's got a little bit of momentum and all I need to do is give it that shove and see where it goes from there. It basically is really making me step up to the plate and get ready to throw myself in front of the bullet (too many analogies?). Well, one thing is, I'll know one way or the other, and if it's bad news, then I can get to feeling sorry for myself and get that part over. If it's the way I'd like it to go, then I can finally get on with enjoying my time with her even more.

Any advice? Comments? Snide remarks?

I'm really nervous.

Rose (Coleman) Paugh is my left nut.

My kingdom for a .... WHAT?!

I hate a particular 5% of who I am, How I am, and what I will and will not do.

As my roommate and his girlfriend put it... I need a left testicle.

The Big O

Cast in the name of God

Ye Not Guilty



One of my favorite anime titles right now is The Big O. I just bought it on DVD a couple days ago. Stupid Cartoon Network's [adult swim] got me hooked on it. The first season is really great... there's a lot of weirdness that goes on in the storyline and most of it is interconnected to make you want to try to figure out what's going on in the whole scheme of things.

Quick breakdown:
Takes place in a city called "Paradigm City". The city of amnesia. Approximately 40 years ago something happened to make everyone lose their memories. No one knows what happened. Bits and pieces surface every once in a while to give them glimpses of their past. Fortunately people remembered how to use electricity and machines and that sort.

ANYway, check it out, it's fun.

Pat on the back, and a scratch on the balls...

I'm not one to fish for compliments, and that's not what I'm going for here, either. I'm very proud of my lighting design for Other People's Money, and since behind-the-scenes kind of people don't get a lot of recognition, I'm going to brag on myself a little bit by posting a couple pictures from the show.

Waste of time

Well, what a waste of time Eastern Kentucky University has been today. I've had three classes and none of them have gone anywhere NEAR the full time (which normally, I would love, but since I live relatively close to campus, I've been going home after class). I had an 8:00am LAB that met for 15-20 minutes. Awesome since it's scheduled for two hours. So went home to wait for my 11:00 class. It only went 10 minutes. What a crock. I just got out of my 12:30 class at 1:05 (supposed to go to 1:45). This time I'm killing some time in a computer lab instead of making the 10 minute trek back home. I only pray that my last class of the day doesn't make me feel like I've completely wasted my time. I'll let you know.

Cock-blocked.

Learning life's lessons... the hard way.

I love it. A bigger dork than me. Check it out here.

By the way... I wouldn't be caught dead driving it.

Birthday Card

Just think,
you're here not by chance, but by God's choosing.
His had formed you
and made you
the person you are.
He compares you to no one else -
you are one of a kind.
You lack nothing that
His grace can't give you.
He has allowed you to be here
at this time in history to fulfill
His special purpose for this generation.


How thankful I am
that He has allowed me to be here
at the same time you are!

I have to laugh at myself sometimes because on the way home from the show tonight, I caught wiff of fresh pole-cat. That's skunk. Now the first thing that comes to my mind isn't, "Gee, what an aweful smell". No, the first thing that pops into my head is that a friend of mine told me that they actually liked the smell of skunks. I'll always think of you, friend, when I smell skunk while travelling down the road. God love ya'.

I really hate the first day of classes. My stomach works itself up into knots, and I feel semi nauseous most of the day. Today's not starting out much different.

Cast in the name of God.... Ye Not Guilty

Feeling a bit "blah" today. I'm going to be missing out on a certain someone's Birthday festivities tonight because of the show I'm involved in. It really bothers me. I really get into birthdays, probably to make up for usually having really crappy ones myself. I have some really good presents for her, too. I'd hate to have to give them to her later than her Birthday. I really hope she likes them.

This was a good time. This is what I like to remember. Not right now.

I grabbed this from a friend's blog.

"Enjoy life. The world could end tomorrow."

Well due to a SNAFU in the scheme of things. I won't be starting classes until Wednesday. "Why?" you ask. Because I have a hold on my records that won't allow me to register for classes, and the person I need to contact about it has been in meetings all day today, I would've started tomorrow, but that won't happen because I'm not registered for classes. If I didn't want to be done with school with something to show for it so badly, I'd just stop and hit the road with all the skills I'm going to learn about my profession at EKU. I have no more major classes, all GEN ED. Health Class, Literature Classes, Biology... CRAP CRAP CRAP! I'm almost out of school, and I don't have any debt (which is a very big accomplishment in this day and age) and I want to get to the living my life part. It's all very frustrating.

Stupid 20/20 hindsight.

Worry burdens my troubled mind.

Alas, Sunday morning is my last day to sleep in since classes start Monday. Man, I'm am SO dreading classes. I'm dreading not knowing ANYbody in any of my classes even more.

This is going to suck.

Whew, that was close!

Narrowly avoided a completely fun-free weekend, thanks to a friend of mine in Lexington. Grin!

Alright... we know how smart we are, but HOW are we smart? Take this test to see!

The Multiple Intelligences Test
Scott, you're smartest when it comes to visual/spatial intelligence

Others may take their environments for granted but not you. Because of your visual/spatial intelligence you really see the world around you. This strength often helps you better appreciate the beauty and detail in everyday things. From shapes in nature to the structure of a fine automobile, a countless variety of things hold your interest.

Having this particular kind of heightened awareness can allow you to form accurate mental images of existing places and objects. In extreme cases, one might call this strength a photographic memory. Being visually/spatially intelligent also means that you likely have a vivid imagination that can be put to use in a variety of creative or professional endeavors.

Lighting Design Project III

Well, that didn't take nearly as long as I had figured, and kind of had hoped. Everything looks good though... at least without actors on stage. Tomorrow night will be the real test.

But for now... I'm bored.

Weekend Outlook - Update

Apparently no one knows how to answer a phone, so I'm at home... bored.

Lighting Design Project II

(to see what was up previously, visit Tuesday, December 02, 2003)

I'm almost finished with the design aspect of the show. I hung, focused, and gelled the final lighting instruments I need for Studio Player's production of Other People's Money. Tomorrow at noon, the director and I, along with the stage manager and a stray actor or two, hash out how the show will flow lighting-wise. I'm really excited about seeing what my first full design project is going to look like in the context of the show with people on stage emoting and such. It's just not the same just staring at the set with lights turned on. Now I want to see what people look like underneath the lime light (which there is none of actually in this show).

Check it out

New Visual Stimulation on the sidebar. Enjoy.

Weekend Outlook

Bored and Lonely.

Now accepting entries for something to do.

mXc

MXC, also known as Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, has GOT to be one of the most hilarious shows on TV. It's a great show for a bunch of people to sit around, watch, and laugh at. The SPIKE network has done an incredible job with their programming geared for men.

And thank you for running three straight hours of it during card night at the apartment!

Cards, friends, junk food, and Japanese people humiliating themselves on TV for who knows what or why, is the best way to spend at least one night a week!

Rosie's Big Clam

"All you can eat. Don't use your hands."


This is an "advertisement" that I heard on mXc last night. Cracked my s**t up!

Bloggin' for the sake of Bloggin'

Well, to all TWO people who I know regulary visit my blog (Thanks Patrick and Stephanie) this one's for you!

Yeah, sorry, there's still very little to be told that I haven't already.

Starting Jan 15, 2003, Studio Players is producing a show called OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY. I have designed the lights for the show, and I'm very excited about seeing it on it's feet. I'd also love to see a lot of people in the audience that I know to see my first full-fledged lighting design. Spread the word. Other People's Money at Studio Player's in Lexington. January 15 thru February 1.

Sorry folks, I've got nothing.

Car Trouble - Trouble No More

A few things:

1. For the first time in my life, car repairs have actually cost LESS than I was quoted.
2. I feel like a giant in my little Chevy Cavalier compared to the nice roomy interior of the 2004 Honda Accord that I was renting.
3. It's good to have my car back.
4. No more having to explain why I don't want to drive somewhere.

Car Trouble - The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I just called about my car, and they said they'd have it together in about forty-five minutes!!! Then they'd test it, and (hopefully) it'll be MINE AGAIN!!!!! I can't wait... stay tuned, true believers!

The past two days have been filled with lighting, chili, friends, and goofy grins. It's been great, but there's been a slight emptyness. Something that wasn't there that usually is. But I've plodded on, and continued to be happy even in the face of this void.

The big goofy grin saga continues. I had a lot of fun yesterday. I just enjoy being around her. Right now, those are the only words I can put to it.

Car Trouble - the "Pros"

Okay. So finally on Friday I went and rented a car from Enterprise. I reserved my car online and my roommate took me in to pick it up... pretty easy. When I got there I saw an old friend... and he happens to be the manager of the place. I haven't seen him in a while, and I don't think he ever knew my last name or anything, so when the reservation came in, he didn't recognize my name. When I got there he immediately recognized me and my roommate (although he still sees him on a more consistant basis). He gave me a hard time and stuff like friends do, and then he cut me a really sweet deal. Instead of driving around in a Geo or another Cavalier, he set me up with a too sweet 2004 Honda Accord... pretty loaded, too. I tell you, as of right now, driving hasn't been much sweeter. I even took a drive on I-75 one night just to drive it. It's been a great time, and I'm not looking forward to Monday anymore (which is when I get my car back, supposedly).

Y'know, actually, if my car is working the way it should when I get it back... I'll love it! (and for $1500.00, it better!)

Question

Situation: You invite someone (in this case, a girl) to go do something.... say, a movie. Then she asks if she can bring a friend along.

What should you do? Advice?

Great First Impressions

Hypothetical Conversation

Guy: Hey, let's go out tonight!

Girl: Okay. What do you want to do.

Guy: I was thinking maybe a movie.

Girl: Sounds great!

Guy: Yeah, so... can you pick me up, I don't have car.

[How romantic]
[Portions of this conversation have been made up]

Car Trouble - the "Cons"

Okay, for those of you who don't know (or actually care), my car's transmission has been on the fritz for about a month now. I was finally able to take it in to get it worked on this past Tuesday, and they said it was possible it would be ready the next afternoon. Great! I call Wednesday around noon, and they said the transmission was being put back together, then they'd take it out to test it, so please call back around 2:30 - 3:00.

So I do.

When I do, they tell me that one of the parts they ot in was bad (just a part that should've been a reject off the line) and my car wouldn't be ready until Friday... today. So I call around 11:30am to ask about my car, and theytell me the truck with the part on it never arrived, so it wouldn't be ready until Monday.

Recap: Been without a care since Tuesday, having to bum rides from people everywhere I go.

I'm having a tough time deciding if the New Year is starting off well or not.

I really enjoyed where I started it, and who I started it with. So for that much, it's going great. Let's just say, questions and doubts.