Sabotage

my own worst enemy

I get thoughts in my head that make me doubt, second guess, and rethink certain situations (way before they ever happen). Sometimes I think it's just a defense mechanism so I don't get hurt (this has roots stemming back from when my dad passed away). Other times I think it could be low self-esteem. And then a thought that popped into my head today, "Do I sabotage myself because I don't want myself to be happy?" I don't know. I can't figure it out. Oh, and if you didn't figure it out, I'm talking about love.

For those of you that know me... advice would be nice. If it's a bit too personal, an email would be appreciated.