:::: Warning: This post is about disappointment, so some of you out there might find it depressing or a "downer". Sorry, if you don't like it, don't read it. At least it's something meaningful. ::::


On the way home from a botched attempt at celebrating St. Patrick's Day, I did some thinking.

I've decided that my energy doesn't work well with planning things, or work well on it's own. My excitement needs to feed off of someone else's in order for it to be effective. I can be excited about something on my own, but eventually I run out of juice if no one else is excited with me. Such was tonight. Plus the fact that the plans slowly were falling apart around me. The original plan was to go with about 7 or 8 people, and one-by-one they petered out or changed their mind at the last minute or had made other plans or had conflicts. It's kind of a shot to the old self esteem. I keep telling myself, "this one's going to work out!" and then it doesn't. I would just love to plan something and it be fun, and everyone have a great time (or at the very least - show up).

I think that's another reason why my friend Stephanie is so important to me... we can feed off of each other's excitement (and sometimes she can jump-start mine when there isn't much there to begin with).

Oh well - such is life. Just a string of disappointments until you get lucky and something works out for you.

I can't wait for it to finally work out for me.

PS - I'll get over it, don't worry about me. I'd just like something like this to go well for me for once.