Irrational Fears

Most of you who read my blog know what kind of business I'm in, but in case you don't, here goes:

I'm a Lighting Technician/Designer for stage productions. I've worked professionally for three summers at Jenny Wiley Theatre; worked for money, credit, and for the pleasure of it at EKU Theatre; worked at Studio Players for the experience (free); worked for minimum wage and free food at the Center for Rural and Economic development in Somerset, KY; and give back to the One who has given me these wonderful gifts, talents, and tools by giving my time to Crossroads Christian Church. I've had to work in different conditions and environments. I've dangled by a harness from over 35 feet in the air, I've kept myself from falling from such heights as well with just the use of one hand. I have NEVER been afraid of the heights I have worked in. Growing up, I was fairly phobic of high places, but overcame that through working in theatres.

This semester, I've been working in the theatre department as part of a work study program (financial aid). I was working today, and I had to go up to an area of the theatre called the grid. It's usually the highest point of the theatre, directly above the stage where all the pipes (batons) are hanging from. All the lights were out on the grid, and I had to grab some cable from up there. I climbed over 90 feet to the grid, and when I got up there, my heart started pounding wildly, my pulse raced, my mouth became dry, and I felt a little light-headed (which isn't good at heights). I made my way back down to the ground and just laughed at myself... fear is so irrational. There was no point to my fear. I was perfectly safe, there was very little chance of my falling over 90 feet to the stage floor. The steel slats were spaced apart just wide enough that your foot WON'T fit through it. There are a couple of larger spaces that only someone half as skinny as myself would fit through, and even then, it'd be VERY difficult to fall through them. Nonetheless, I was frightened. I told my boss/professor about it, and he went up, and y'know... everything looks different when you put in working light bulbs and everything is lit up.

I was able to go back up and complete my job without any anxiety. Proving to myself that it was a VERY irrational fear. And I remain undaunted.