Cycles

I believe that everyone goes through cycles, some people's are more pronounced than others. Women go through a very noticable cycle every 28 days for much of their life. Men go through cycles, too... just maybe not as noticable. Through my life, I've gone through cycles. My emotions are definitely on a cycle, not necessarily on a monthly cycle, but they are on one at any rate. Early on in life the ups and downs were about even, I had just as many "down" days as "up" days. They were mixed in together pretty well and they changed gradually. As life went on, the "up" days out numbered the "down" days. Sometimes I would hit a down day and flop right back up the next day, others would take me a day or two. Now in my life, I'm noticing that the down days are feeling even fewer and farther between. There are certain issues that I still struggle with, but I'm not down in general. I've also noticed that it's gotten easier for me to come out of down times. Sometimes I make myself, some times someone else will snap me out of it, other times it just happens.

Well, it "just happened" today. About two and a half hours ago, actually. I just found myself laughing and smiling and cutting up like normal, and I just felt GREAT! It happened where it usually happens... at church. I can't tell you how great of a feeling it was to just feel like I snapped out of it.

In retrospect, I think a lot of my down days are because I try too often to put on an air of happiness even when I'm not... so suddenly I'm unable to keep it up any more and my mood just breaks down. Sometimes we need a down day or two for no reason... and sometimes they help us to really appreciate things better.

All I can say is that I really needed tonight.